A flooding pain…

I feel so miserable when I see the agonized and flooded Bihar on television. It makes me feel so moved and helpless. The whole crisis of Kosi river had been there since my childhood days and I have been witnessing it throughout. So far I’ve never been able to resolve the issue on my part, and that’s distressing. In Bihar, all sorts of Govt. came and went away, but none could stop the mishap and its sore consequences. I fail to understand where these helpless and vulnerable should go? And as a person and an actor, what should I do? I feel feeble.

Today, watching on channels that the Central Govt. has approved an aid of a thousand crores for the distressed made me feel a bit better. In addition to this, the Govt. should also try to solve the root cause of the issue so that people don’t face a similar situation every monsoon. Thousands of lives would be saved that way.

I just now had a chat with Shri Prakash Jha. We are to meet today. Sitting together, we’ll discuss the pains of people and will try to take up their problems to the Govt. May be this effort on my part will make their lives better.

I was dubbing for a film today. My mind however, was occupied in the miseries of the people lying there in Bihar. It’s sad to say that the kind of fast city life we are leading has made us passive towards the lives of others. There are lives aloof from the kind of lives we lead and it’s high time we should understand it. Ironically, malls are not the only gauge of development. There is a rural population also which needs to be looked after. Our country wouldn’t grow if they are unhappy.

The sorrow in Bihar made me feel like sharing my sorrows with all of you. All this makes me feel helpless, but I’ll try to do my best in this regard in all the possible means. Having said that, I’ll sign off now. Shekhar Suman, Prakash Jha and I are meeting, so that we can think about it and moreover DO something significant about it.

Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Market is my acting school

I spent entire Saturday with my family. Generally, I and my wife go shopping to the market, in some selected shops. My wife always insists on me going along with her; however I prefer staying at home. Interestingly, going out for shopping helps me in a way because that is how I get to meet people and learn their way of living. The practice of connecting with people in such a way helps me grow at professional and personal levels. It also serves as a good homework before any film. I enjoy doing it. And for an actor this is a recommended exercise.

Interestingly whenever I go shopping I never remember things that my wife buys. I’m so forgetful that, at times I don’t even recall the dialogues written by myself. And this absentmindedness sometimes leads to home wars..!! I can’t help it. So, coming back to the point, I spent the whole day with my family. The shop owner had a complete new stock in his shop, so he asked me to come. It was totally an amazing experience shopping and interacting with people, at the same time. I also gave autographs and made my day memorable.

I feel very glad for the comments I get on my blog. Starting this blog has been very serendipitous for me. Firstly, it has helped me in communicating directly with my fans and secondly, it has increased the viewership of my films. Like for an instance, Mr. G. Vishwanath from Bangalore watched Satya and actually liked it. I was elated. Then there was Mr. Rajiv Taneja, who watched 1971, though, the pirated version. So, to Rajiv and others, I plead not to watch the pirated stuff. Movies should be watched in a theatre so that the box office profits from it. This is how actors like me and others will be valued more for their work. And this would increase participation among producers to make the kind of cinema I work in. Otherwise, this money-ruled industry would only prefer actors who bring in loads of money to the box office and eventually in a matter of time intellectual cinema would lose its sheen completely. Eventually anyone would hardly care about what I like or what I do, for that matter.

Nevertheless, Money Hai To Honey Hai was criticized by some people. Actually this film is an out and out comedy. Some people liked it and some didn’t, but I gave my best in the whole movie. The outcome of this movie was interesting in a way because after watching this movie, people realized that I not only can do serious roles, but can do comedy as well. It was convincing to see that I can justify a comic role also. However, the main reason behind doing this film was Ganesh Acharya. With this promise that next time I’ll definitely try to be true to your expectations and make you laugh I’ll sign off now. I believe that it’s the attempt to strive harder that drives an individual to work passionately in his life. Or at least that’s the only thing I know.

Love

Yours,

Manoj Bajpayee

Getting old…

The other day, NDTV aired a report on low pension in India describing an aged retired officer S.N. Verma and his agony, inability and his sadness. Mr. Verma, a pastime painter is in such a state with his modest pension that he finds it impossible to meet the ends. Not only this, but it is far more sad to know that he cannot even continue his only passion, painting, owing to his humble pension. While watching this, all the time I kept pondering over my future and this gave me nothing but shivers.

S.N. Verma somehow reflected me. I felt as if I could be him some years later. However, throughout, I kept thinking of today’s youth, who are indulged in the ecstasies of their youth and take everything for granted, their exasperating behaviour and sheer ignorance. And I think, it’s high time they should realize that at one point in their life, they’ll be at the receiving end.

Sadly, in the so called modern day world, the elderly have become synonymous to a weed that grows in a field along with the crop. The weed is ripped off and thrown away. Our old ones are made to think they are different from us and are treated with an attitude of indifference. They are made to live a life of disrespect. The question here comes, what are we doing? What have we made of our old ones? Why can’t we stop being apathetic? Why can’t we love them? This is something that I kept thinking the whole day, after my fateful encounter with the ‘old age’.

While I was thinking about all this, a lot of things seeped into my mind. So I just felt like sharing it with you all. My grandfather died at 90. He died a natural death. I still remember him visiting the fields and sharing his farming techniques with people. He was such a pro-active individual that he was always willing to help people with their problems.

Similar is the case with my father. He went for a cataract surgery in Patna, years back. An unfortunate mistake occurred in the operation and he lost his eye. I somehow feel responsible for that and it makes me feel guilty. My father is one of a kind. I haven’t seen anyone like him, someone who celebrates life like a festival and lives it to the fullest.

Talking about old age, I can’t help mentioning my father-in-law, who is about to become an octogenarian. A rare quality shown by people his age, he enjoys his job the most. I have been very fortunate in having these people around me and also have a learned a lot from them. This is actually how I inspiring myself to live my life and experience my old age.

Going some years back, I can recall a play that I performed in Delhi. I was the only actor in it. I played a retired station master who is assaulted by his son and daughter-in-law.
Interestingly in all the shows, I saw an elderly man on the front seat. Every time the show ended the man used to cry his heart out. Unfortunately, his life was the same as being portrayed in the play. He somehow saw himself in the play. My film Swami was no different. It was about a father who sends his only child abroad and himself leads a life of a loner in an old age home. However sad this may appear, but true it is.

Conclusively, I’d like to say one thing here. I owe myself to the elders who have taught me the ways of life. Who have taught me to face the world and still live my life to the fullest. Their experience has given me an immense strength and the true essence of life. Kudos to them. I’m grateful to them and will always be.

I wanted to reply to all the comments on my last post; however the state of our elders in the society compelled me to think and write this. I’ll definitely get back to you in my next post.

With love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Some Answers

First comment on my blog was of Rajesh Roshan followed by comments of Rajeev Taneja, Dinesh Rai, Kavita, Shailesh Bharatwasi, Girish, Suresh Chapinlukar, Rajiya Raj and Anoop Shukla etc. I would like to thank all those who posted comments on my blog and complimented my first post. Although some friends raised few questions too!

R.C. Mishra commented "Who is writing this blog in Hindi? How come Manoj Bajpayee writing such well versed Hindi?" It's not the fault of such people who are asking how film actors can write in good Hindi. It's a fact that many big stars speaks a little bit of Hindi but are unable to write in it. They cannot even give proper interview in this language. Thus such a doubt in visitors/readers mind is reasonable. Well, for your kind information let me tell you that superstar Amitabh Bachchan knows very good Hindi , also Ashutosh Rana speaks and writes good Hindi. If you still don't believe my words forget it, but do keep reading this blog as it's truly mine i.e. Manoj Bajpayee's blog.

Some people including Aanand, Sanjay and G.Vishwanath have also commented about PR-ship. I won't raise any objection for such questions nor will blame them for this too. You will find a film actor at every step and let me tell you there are more than 50 reasons for PR ship of any film actor. Television channels serve it all and has now become PR agency for big stars rather than just news. Well I know I'll have to justify myself for the same. This blog is started by my some journalist friends and they invited me to share my heart's feelings here. All technical support is provided by them. In future you will also see my blog in other languages which is nothing but mere translation. I don't have much time to translate blog in other languages.

Now something about my life story - If I need to describe my story even after working continuoulsy for 15 years in cinema and 11 years in theater, it really shows that you have never tried to know what this actor was doing. Please take some time and google "Manoj Bajpayee", you'll get all information about me.

Now this post is getting quite long . I once again thank all my blog readers. Please watch my latest movie "Honey hai toh money hai" and do comment here. Blog is meant for interaction, so this interaction will continue. I will soon get back to you with my new post. Till then keep reading my blog.

Yours

Manoj Bajpayee

Name, computer and me…

Even before a child is born, the christening process begins. From Chinku to Pinku to Amitabh and Aamir, even Manoj for that matter are the names considered. Personally Manoj doesn't fascinate me much, as there are around thousands of Manojs on this earth..!!!...And someone intelligent had said once that 'what's in the name'….so I believe that..!!

Recently a friend of mine suggested me to write a blog and interestingly I found myself thinking about its name more than its content. Another friend of mine who actually helped me in creating the blog, when told me that it has been named Manoj Bajpai, it kind of made me upset. The reason for this was that they didn't use my original and official name which is Manoj Bajpayee and not Manoj Bajpai. Bollywood journalist didn't also write my spelling right and when I tried to correct it, I was called a numerology fanatic..!!!

I think that to an extent name doesn't matter. Like for an example, if my name was "Idiot", people would have called me an idiot. They would have said things like," Oh..!! Idiot rocked in Satya" and "Look, Idiot managed a National Award for Pinjar". So essentially, it doesn't matter to me much if my name is Manoj, Idiot or even an Ullu for that matter..! But one thing is mentionable here, that I managed to negotiate with my spelling in the blog and got it changed. This gave me an intent satisfaction, if not anything else.

These days one thing keeps me occupied a lot. The thing happens to be a "computer". Computer was totally a new phenomenon for me a year back. But now I have exposed myself to this new world and I must say that I'm enjoying it a lot. It's exciting to explore this whole new world of science. But sometimes it scares me to, as I fear that it may get destroyed. It's really expensive after all.

It's always good to learn new things and that exactly what I'm doing. Recently, when I was shooting for Acid Factory, Fardeen and a fellow friend Jeetu taught me to download music. These days I listen to music, not on my tape recorder, but on my PC.

Time has changed, all of a sudden. It seems that it was only the other day that Babuji bought a Panasonic tape recorder from Nepal. I still remember my brothers recording their voices on it and listening to it again. It got them excited.

So much has changed since then. The world has shrunk and the relations have dispersed. The era of globalisation is the reason. Huhh..!!!...But who am I to comment? One has no right to think differently. And since I've been the numerology fanatic and have been called one or the other things every now and then, it's better to stay out of it. Let the things be the way they are…

Welcome to my blog. It's for all of you out there. I'll continue writing on this so that I can keep thinking. And yes, I would definitely not sigh off without publicizing my new film Money hai to honey hai. At least I deserve that much liberty. Isn't it?
Also there's an upcoming film called Jugad, on Delhi sealing which you would like, so do watch it…I'm sure you'll like it.

Yours
Lots of love

Manoj Bajpayee with Payee