It scares me now...

Long back, when I was in class 5th, we went to a school trip to Kashmir via Delhi. We stayed in Delhi and visited the Red Fort, Qutub Minar, etc. We clicked our photographs in a stylized way from various angles, under the Qutub Minar. The photographs are still lying somewhere in some corner. In those days it wasn’t even a trend to plant a bomb under such places that can snatch an innocent life of a child and lives of many more. All this frights me now and I feel scared for everyone who goes out to shop, goes to school, who watches film in a Cineplex, who wants to enjoy in a fair. I feel scared for people who go to crowded places for hanging out or just for buying something.

Today, I’m even scared of my life. It seems to me that the death wouldn’t come because of some disease rather it would come with a bomb blast. Why are people dying? What’s there fault? The ones who are killing; what reason do they have? I pondered a lot over this question, but it seems to be beyond the scope of my understanding. Has anyone a right to kill the innocents? The need of the hour is to be alert and take care of ourselves. It has become important that we fight against this terror together, as no one else would do it for us.

I pay my tribute to the innocent boy who lost his life in the Mehrauli Blast. My feelings are with everyone who suffered injuries in this act.

I just felt like writing after this unfortunate and sad incident. In the end, I’d like to add one more thing. To my friend Imdad, I would say, please don’t get angry and if you already are, I apologize. It’s been a very long time now and it sometimes gets really difficult to recall. Be happy wherever you are. May God bestow all his blessings on you and your family.

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Enjoying Holidays

I read your comments on my last posts. It’s surprising to note that a lot of people still hate each other because of religion. However, everyone has a right to say what they feel like. And yes, in all my previous posts whatever I had written were completely my views. A consensus or difference in opinion doesn’t matter.

Any ways, these days I’m a bit free from work because of the rains that have stopped most of the shooting. I had to go to Hyderabad for a shooting, which also got cancelled due to the Union’s strike. However, it’s good as it has given me enough time to spend at home. I’m a bit lazy by nature and love doing lesser work.

In the meantime, I attended some meetings and read some scripts but it didn’t interest me. There was one script that I liked, but the person had no producer and he’s now searching for one. I don’t understand how to balance my dates with the producers of the films that have been stopped. Most of my time goes into thinking that. I also feel like going to Delhi but there’s a lot of work here that needs to be finished. That’s all I’m busy with these days. It’s like taking out work from a suitcase and keeping it back inside an almirah.

I would like to offer my gratitude to the late Mohan Chandra Sharma, who bravely fought the unfortunate terrorist encounter in Delhi. May his soul rest in peace and may God give his family the strength in this time of trouble.

With this,

Love…
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

How To Stop Communal Riots

All my growing years I have seen communal riots and caste based violence as a part of my life. May be as a mute spectator, but I have always been around these. Is the extent and intensity of the incidents happening in Kandhamal and Karnataka justified? Is the Govt. has no role to play? Now, in the name of jehad shall we decide who dies? On the God’s name shall we decide which religion is right and which is immoral or which caste
is elite and which is low.

Actually this debate has been there since ages and violence is an inseparable part of it. The question is who they are? How do they think? How do they think themselves the God? And why do they think they are the Govt.?

I completed my education from a Christian Missionary school. Today, whatever I am is either because of that Christian Missionary school or because of my theatre’s director and teacher Barry John. Why do not caste-creed, religion and region ever comes to my mind? I give this credit to my school and Barry John. Even my parents should be credited for that. After coming to Delhi, the person I did theatre with and the person who introduced me to an actor within me was Shamsul Islam. He was also the one who introduced me to the philosophy of Marx, Lenin and Mahatma Gandhi.

How can I deny their role in my life? And when one gets to see/read this type of news everyday, it makes me feel dejected. I sometimes think what kind of people are they, who consider other’s faith as low. Who are these people who spread violence on the name of religion? How do they think and what’s their ideology? Our Nation is progressing and it’s sad to say that owing to the communal violence and religious aggressions, India is on its way to devastation.

For a complete human and societal development of India, the advent of industrial development is mandatory. It’ll also take away the doom of religion based violence. I hate communal violence and caste based discrimination more than anything else. There can be nothing else than regionalism that I totally despise. I won’t say that the time has arrived. I would rather say that if you don’t get up now, you won’t get up at all. These things and the related violence should stop immediately..!

We should ostracize these people completely as people with such a sick mentality have only one answer which is violence. These people lack logics. I live with my God, I have my God and I don’t want anyone to be responsible for him. I take his responsibility. To everyone, it’s my request; please confine your religion to yourself. That’s your faith. Stop publicizing your religion in any way. Keep it to yourself and feel it within. I don’t discuss my religion and faith with my friends or family; neither do I ever get into such a debate. My God is mine and he’s within me.
With peace…

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Nostalgic Manoj

Believe me, it wasn’t a vent out of anger against Ramgopal Verma. It was just a reply to the wrong information he’d written about me on his blog. And this will continue if someone tries to malign my character. If in a democratic country someone has a right to say something, then the other person should also have a right to answer back. Anyways, lets just go off the past.

Right now I’m at my producer-director friend Sanjay Gupta’s place. I’m with my wife Shabana Raza and director-friend Rajiv Virani, who is directing an upcoming film of mine. It’s raining outside and we have reached here just sometime back. We also discussed Rajiv Virani’s film script.

Two hundred kilometers away from Mumbai, 4000 ft above the sea-level, Mumbai seems so different. It suddenly reminisce me of my village. A part your village. The magic of peaceful green surroundings and serene mountain valley is such that it has a hypnotizing effect. It tends to raise a conflict inside you. A part of you asks you to give away everything you had earned throughout your life and by this I mean my acting career and a metro city life.

I also went to attend a function last Friday. It was organized on the occasion of the launch of a Ramayan animation film. I have given my voice for Ram’s character in the film. Juhi Chawla has done voice over for Sita and Ashutosh Rana for Ravana. I think that this Ramayan will initiate a new era of animation films. A revolution is apparent in the animation film sector. Technically, we are in competition with the western countries for this. However, there is a lack of professionals in this field, which will hopefully not be there in the coming future.

Remembrance of village and the Ramayan function made the childhood memories fresh in my mind. It reminded me of the time when my grandfather used to read texts from Ramayan and narrate stories. A place we are attached to is in all the ways different. It’s truly said that, you can detach a person from his village, but can’t separate a village from the person himself.

With this…

Love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Ram Gopal Varma and Me

In my last post I mentioned that I’ll be writing about Ramgopal Varma, who’s been writing unpleasant things about me on his blog. So here it goes.

I have been attached to him. After watching me in Bandit Queen and Tamanna, he offered me Satya and also a small role in Daud, after that. We have had a good professional relationship. However, I won’t be able to comment much on the creative aspects, since it was mostly Anurag Kashyap or Saurabh Shukla, I interacted with.

Mr. Ramgopal Varma, on his blog said that when in award ceremonies, people called me Bheekhu Mhatre (my character’s name in Satya), I used to get excited as they called me and not the other stars. Actually, this has been the only reason of tension between us. He has spent his entire life on false beliefs.

I was happy with the success of Satya and was glad that I at least got a chance to stand. I was happy that I had an abode. Hence, in spite of all the prevailing apprehensions between us, I was thankful to him. A passion to become an actor drove me to Mumbai. I had dreams to become successful and lead a good life with my family. I never wanted to compete and I think that I achieved more than I had ever dreamt of.

The problem with Mr. Ramgopal Varma has been that he always wanted Manoj Bajpayee as an actor who can flatter him all the time. He wanted someone who has no self respect. I just want to say that please Mr Verma stop maligning my character. Our creative and professional ventures are over now. And there’s no question of an emotional attachment, because it never existed on the first hand. So, Mr.Varma, if you feel too much for me, you better keep my photograph and look at it every morning. But stop faking.

However, I know that you wouldn’t leave me; else your own existence would be in danger. All I want to say is that no one expected Satya’s success. We did what we could to the best of our abilities. As an actor, I performed my best and as a director you did what you thought was the best.

No one owes anything to each other now, but I’m still grateful to you. However, you should learn to respect my feelings and emotions too. But who am I saying all this to? To a person who doesn’t believe in any form of relationship, may it be that of a husband and a wife or that of a brother and a sister, or any other form of emotional bond, for that matter.

Since last nine years I have been trying to make things work out between us. Professionally, there was never much of an economic gain from you. And you more denied me after casting than you ever gave me roles, but I’m still thankful for what I got from you. May God bless you and keep you happy.

I always wanted to share this with you people. There’s more to all this, which is likely to come up if Mr Varma refuse to mend his ways. I respect him, but that doesn’t mean I’m a menial worker who would do whatever he asks for.

It feels better now.

Love
Yours

Manoj Bajpayee

Bappa Morya...

I had come back home early yesterday, by 6 in the evening. Took my laptop and started reading some of the comments of my last post, I felt all my friends and fans were disturbed after watching flood visuals from Bihar. I was still on the laptop, there were sounds of drum and trumpet, I realized that Ganpati Utsav has begin and a day Ganpati is going out for Visarjan.

Really, this kind of atmosphere in this month gives a spiritual happiness. During this period in Mumbai, there is a kind of competition to visit Ganpati temples and Mandals. As, I was in these thoughts, my mother called me from Delhi and told that she wants to have three day Ganpati this time.She has been a religious person, who keeps on wishing so that she could be indulge in religious activities. She was asking me about rituals of Ganpati Puja. Ganpati Puja has been a part of Maharashtra's culture and she is totally ignorant about this.

I also don't know much about these rituals. I am a simple man, who believes in simple kind of worship. Well, all these festivals and Pujas bring people closer undoubtedly. I wonder, this is the start of festival season that keeps on going till the end of the year. Whether it is of any religion; be it Ganpati, Ramzan, Diwali, Chhat, Dashahra or Christmas.

It seems that all the religions follow the same path to say good bye to the year. All pray to god during these festivals. I also pray to Ganpati to solve the misery of flood affected Bihar's people. God gives them strength to over come all the difficulties and adverse times.

So, on the closing note, we all say Ganpati Bappa Morya...

Your's
Manoj Bajpayee

Brave The Floods

I met Mr. Prakash Jha lately. We talked about the happenings in Bihar and inferred that we, through TV and other means, can request people to join NGOs and help the victims. I’ve been talking to various TV channels which are present there and are working for this noble cause.

I think it's important that every individual should make efforts at all the possible levels in this direction. People can contribute for this cause in all the ways they can think of. Also, the catastrophe which has occurred in Bihar shouldn’t be taken as a state crisis but as a national calamity. A place where more than 25 lakh masses are suffering the disaster and many have already died, it’s not sensitive to look it as a regional crisis.

Unfortunately, I have been witnessing the disaster caused by Kosi, Bagpati or any other Northern river entering Bihar, since my childhood. And worse is that that nothing has happened about it. The dams are still in shambles and Bihar has faced the aftermath. When will this agony come to an end? That’s the whole question.

Nevertheless, the Army and the Air Force has reached Bihar now. Also, relief camps have been stalled there. But surprisingly the Govt. still hasn’t declared the crisis as a national calamity.

Tsunami was so painful that it made me cry. I also feel very distressed when I look at what people are suffering there in Bihar. Is human life of no value? I kindly request people to help Bihar in whichever way they feel like, though without exposing it. I’m doing the same and I request everyone to join together and work.

Sharing sensitivity with my readers and fans on my blog, giving my views through TV and newspaper and hence encouraging people to come up with more and more help for Bihar, is something that appeals to me. This is something that can actually help a lot. This is how we can inspire people at our levels, to help the victims. If each and every individual does that, a significant change will surely happen.

In Bihar, the effected area should be evacuated first and now that the Air Force has reached there already and is doing its job efficiently, people will be benefited. However, I would want to appeal to the higher authorities to do something more significant. Not only should the dams be repaired, but our relations with Nepal should also be strengthened. An alternative system should be developed to cope with such a calamity. A proper disaster management system is required at this point, so that the people of this nation feel safer. This way they'll know that they are out of harm's way.

There is a man who writes ill about me on his blog. The man holds an important position in my life and I would want to write about him next time. His name is Ram Gopal Verma. I’ll sign off now.

Love
Yours,

Manoj Vajpayee