Back to normal life after vacation, work and hosting

Last one and a half month was very hectic. I had to go to Capetown for shooting ‘Acid Factory’ and then to Malaysia for a fortnight. A director friend Surya wanted me to act in his upcoming Telugu film, he insisted and I happily agreed to work in his film. I had fun working in Capetown. We just shot action sequences in the whole of last month.

The shots didn’t require any usage of mind. Yes, the body definitely ached. Sanjay Gupta, our producer is considered an amazing host; hosted parties almost every night. Every night we had an outing and this made our days cheerful. I was along with my wife so in leisure time we went out to explore Capetown. For the first time in my life I saw a bunch of male fishes. There was also a school of Dolphins swimming briskly across the ocean. We also went to Capepound, where the Antarctic and Indian Ocean meet. So, along with shooting for the film we had a wonderful excursion.

My wife likes shopping on streets so that we can get acquainted with the culture and tradition of the country. She normally doesn’t prefer shopping from expensive outlets as these places are costly and the whole atmosphere is much Americanized. It’s all similar to the mall culture prevalent. While I wasn’t shooting I hopped the streets of Capetown which was tiring and exciting at the same time. Days passed, I lost my cell phone and regret losing my 400 contacts. We finished the shooting on a friendly note. Then flew to Mumbai, stayed over for two days, repacked our baggage and left for Malaysia.

Unit of South Indian films usually work in shifts from morning 7 am to evening 7 pm. On top of it there was a continuous language problem which was sorted out with the help of a prompter. My prompter at the sets was next to God for me. I was very busy but my wife as per her habit shopped on the streets of Kuala Lampur.

We dined at various restaurants of Capetown. I never missed home food there but in Kuala Lampur both, me and my wife were bothered by a typical smell that the food emanate. Hence, we had to eat at the five star hotel, where we stayed. We spent days eating soup and bread only. I won’t disrespect their type of food as every country has its own food and taste. Since we were not accustomed to such food, we faced issues with it.

When I returned home from there, my wife’s sister came from America along with her new born daughter Zoya. My in-laws also came to our place from Delhi. We were busy hosting them. As I and my wife stay all alone at home, having a small child and other guests at home were a pleasure. Amidst all this we didn’t realize how a month passed. Every one has left now and we are again busy with our lives. We both miss Zoya’s voice and presence. May God bless her a long age and all the happiness in the world.

The Mumbai incident was very painful and sad. I’ll definitely share my views on India and the society in my next post.

Love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Will we learn?

It seems that, like always we’ll learn no lesson from this. People are dying and they are being separated them from their loved ones. Even then we aren’t learning anything. We are still playing the blame game with Pakistan as to who is responsible for this. Be it the govt. or media or anyone else; everyone is talking about war and nuances of war politics. The question here stands that what are WE doing to protect ourselves? Making individual and collective security a trivial issue, the politicians are more interested in debating on the television screens. By doing this, all they want to show is that the party they belong to has no role in this.

I personally feel that Pakistan should face external pressure from countries so that the terrorist training camps based in Pakistan can be destroyed. This pressure building shouldn’t be stopped and the noose shouldn’t be let loose. As far as the internal security is concerned, it has always been a question mark. But we should try to make it stronger. All the efforts should be made to make sure that Mumbai Attacks be the last crisis in India. However, breaking relations with Pakistan would not be an intelligent step, as any citizen would not be directly affected by this. Why split relations with Pakistan which have been made with efforts over a period of time. We have given and taken love.

I know that many would not agree with me, but I think that which is right and for the humanity, should win. Senators and ministers of various nations commented on this, including Gordon Brown. Condoleeza Rice visited India. But the truth is that they would only think for themselves and not importantly India. India would have to think about itself. All of us will have to come up together. Only then will this Nation move forward and develop itself. This would be in the good of the Nation and its citizens.

Love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

The intoxicated protector

Nothing except anger and resentment is in my mind, at this point and time. What to say? What to write? Can the act done be erased? It could have been stopped. Will everything be fine now? Now all we can do is, hope. There’s no place for trust now.

Debates have started on the television; newspapers are busy writing reactions and editorials. Everyone seems interested in charity and help. It all seems to be a joke now, on which you don’t even feel like laughing. It has happened a lot many times before and keeps on repeating itself. People died in herds. But unfortunately, the politicians are oblivious as usual, may be they didn’t lose their family. They are still giving speeches and blaming because they are always under cover.

We are worried inside the four walls of our households and the protector of the house is sitting inside the house, drunk, making a joke of everyone.

My heart has ached a thousand times by those sad scenes and I am numb now. Can I be a proud citizen of this Nation? A Nation where no one wants to take the responsibility of its citizens’ security. In Mumbai, people were killed like the way goats are slaughtered. Lamentable..!!! Terrible this is…

I have just pain in my heart. Words are failing me now. I’ll be able to talk more only in my next post. I pay my gratitude to Hemant Karkare, Ashok Kamte, Vijay Salaskar, Sandeep Unnikrishnan and Gajendra. May their souls rest in peace and may God give strength to their families in such time of trouble and pain. I am silent at this time of agony and pray for the peace of the demised. May God give their families courage to stand and live.

We need to learn a lesson from all this.

Love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Shooting break !

Dear Pals,

To begin with; I apologize for not being able to write. I mentioned in my earlier post about my South Africa tour for shooting purposes. I thought that I would be able to post regularly on my blog however owing to my hectic schedules and faulty internet connection facilities, I wasn't able to.

Presently I'm busy with shooting for Acid Factory. I'm leaving for Malaysia for a short shooting schedule now. Hopefully the work would complete in the scheduled time period and I'll be back to Mumbai by the end of this month.

My wife was along with me during the South Africa shoot and she has a guest appearance in the film too. Whenever we go to some country together both of us not only enjoy the nature but also learn the culture and tradition of the country. The same happened this time too. A lot of interesting things happened during the shoot which I'll narrate later, in detail.

Till then, with apologies...

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Cricket and me

The cricket fever has begun and it’s not going to get over until the season ends. And till then, my wife would get irritated with me since she doesn’t like the game. A game in which there’s a ball and the other person hits it and it gets almost impossible for me to understand all this fuss and hype. However, these days I can notice a change in all this. When I watch a match, an excitement is clearly visible on their faces. I wish this temporary interest becomes a serious affair soon. Some people however don’t understand anything but football. Maybe they are right on their place

I wished Mr. Amitabh Bachchan on his birthday. However in the afternoon I got to know about his ill health due to some intestinal problems. I wish him a very happy birthday and may he get well soon.

These days I’m winding up my work in Mumbai because I have to leave for Cape Town in a day or two, for Acid Factory’s shooting. The shooting came to a haul owing to the rains. We have finished one schedule of the film and now the last schedule will be shot.

It will be fun meeting all the friends and the film crew again. I enquired about Cape Town’s weather from the production house so that I can pack my clothing accordingly. Only after getting the details from my secretary Shri Tripathi about my remaining films and the dates, I sat to write this post. Mumbai’s humidity is really troublesome, so much that I don’t feel like doing anything. It’s very irritating. However, work needs to be done. But a pleasant weather makes the work even more exciting.

Coming back to cricket, I wish Sehwag bats well in the second innings and we win the match. Tendulkar is my favorite, but his condition sometimes makes me feel bad.

Hoping to win the match I also wish that Mr. Bachchan becomes healthy soon. I always want him to be happy & healthy and shower his blessings on me.
With this…

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Why Democracy is seldom questioned?

I don’t feel like writing anything today. What’s the use of writing about myself. There’s nothing that’s different from others. The routine and its fate is the same all through. Going to work, coming back home and sleeping thereafter. However, I never stop dreaming; dreaming about an ideal country, an ideal family and an ideal personal life. Things can be achieved on a personal basis; however it becomes difficult when it comes to a society or a country, which comprises of numerous people. It’s not only difficult then but seemingly impossible too.

I just saw a debate on the television. I feel a bit irritated and depressed. There’s politicization of Jamia Nagar’s encounter on one hand and violence in Kandhamal on the other. I feel so deep hatred for the ones engrossed in this heinous crime. Sometimes I even hate that I exist. And the result of all this angst is today’s post. I earlier didn’t feel like writing but thought of releasing my frustration through posting this.

Violence, rape and exploitation are things that no one can give logics for. Neither can it be justified. A community’s or an individual’s act of violence should be immediately punished. When this doesn’t happen the democracy’s questioned. Today, the country is united but still divided and the reasons being violence, language, caste and creed. And we still go to work, come back home and go to sleep. But there are some people who make you feel that things would be fine. And it’s because of these people that there seems a light. Earlier, the democracy was questioned but these days it’s being questioned regularly due to one or the other reasons. The need of the hour is that we as people should consider ourselves a part of this society and country and move together. Religion, region and language shouldn’t be paid much heed. Being a human and belonging to a country should be the supreme.
I just wanted to take out my frustration.

With this….

Love,
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

A poignant start….

When nothing remains in ones hands; he looks up to the Govt. and the system. But when even the Govt. and the system fail, it’s only the God who becomes the ultimate crutch. And when God fails to help, where should one go? This time I thought I would write something else, but what happened in Jodhpur’s Chamunda Devi temple has shaken me completely. Something of this sort even happened in one of the temples of Allahabad. There were bomb blasts in Malegaon and Sabarkantha a day before. The damage of life and property has been endless and immeasurable. And it’s a sad beginning to the Navratras. I’m completely shattered. I pay homage to all the ones who have lost their lives. May God rest their souls in peace and give strength to their families in this time of need.

Now, it seems that the whole system has crippled. The faith of 120 crore people has crushed. Earlier they weren’t safe in a market and now even a temple is not safe. They have been left neglected. Somewhere, it’s a moment to rejoice owing to the Nuclear Deal and somewhere it’s so sad that many households wouldn’t celebrate Diwali. After Naina Devi, Chamunda Devi, Bihar floods and bomb blasts at least I wouldn’t be able to celebrate Diwali at home. The reason behind not celebrating Diwali is my feelings towards the sufferers and also as a rebel. The time has arrived when the democracy should justify its doings.

I’m an artist and I’m completely dedicated to my art. However, being a part of this society, it’s my duty to do something (writing on my blog, for that matter) if not something substantial for their happiness and well being. I can at least protest.

How did the year go? How would any one be able to celebrate the festivities? I shared with my journo friend that blog has done well to me. This way I’m able to speak my heart out and can actually take out my frustrations. He however said this isn’t my frustration but my anxiousness. It’s important that ones worry and anxiety comes out as a frustration. I have always thought that I don’t belong to Hollywood that I can keep myself aloof from the gravity of my country’s problems. We can’t even think of doing this. Our nation is still developing. If not everything, we can still raise our voices against the prevalent corruption, inflation and poverty. This at least justifies my existence. You may agree or disagree, but in the present day conditions, Escapism is the only success mantra. If yes, then so be it. Today, as an actor, if I do what I feel like and if I’m able to run my family desirably, then it’s for me. I have always achieved more that I had desired for. I can’t leave acting. It’s like oxygen for me. I can always share my worries with people on my blog. And at least can take out the frustrations born out of worries, on my blog.

Before coming to an end, I’d like to mention that, while I was trying to find out news and related information on the news channels on the Chamunda Devi incident, 95% of the channels were airing comedy programs. It seems that 185 people dying is no news. Hail TRPs and Box Office!!!

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

It scares me now...

Long back, when I was in class 5th, we went to a school trip to Kashmir via Delhi. We stayed in Delhi and visited the Red Fort, Qutub Minar, etc. We clicked our photographs in a stylized way from various angles, under the Qutub Minar. The photographs are still lying somewhere in some corner. In those days it wasn’t even a trend to plant a bomb under such places that can snatch an innocent life of a child and lives of many more. All this frights me now and I feel scared for everyone who goes out to shop, goes to school, who watches film in a Cineplex, who wants to enjoy in a fair. I feel scared for people who go to crowded places for hanging out or just for buying something.

Today, I’m even scared of my life. It seems to me that the death wouldn’t come because of some disease rather it would come with a bomb blast. Why are people dying? What’s there fault? The ones who are killing; what reason do they have? I pondered a lot over this question, but it seems to be beyond the scope of my understanding. Has anyone a right to kill the innocents? The need of the hour is to be alert and take care of ourselves. It has become important that we fight against this terror together, as no one else would do it for us.

I pay my tribute to the innocent boy who lost his life in the Mehrauli Blast. My feelings are with everyone who suffered injuries in this act.

I just felt like writing after this unfortunate and sad incident. In the end, I’d like to add one more thing. To my friend Imdad, I would say, please don’t get angry and if you already are, I apologize. It’s been a very long time now and it sometimes gets really difficult to recall. Be happy wherever you are. May God bestow all his blessings on you and your family.

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Enjoying Holidays

I read your comments on my last posts. It’s surprising to note that a lot of people still hate each other because of religion. However, everyone has a right to say what they feel like. And yes, in all my previous posts whatever I had written were completely my views. A consensus or difference in opinion doesn’t matter.

Any ways, these days I’m a bit free from work because of the rains that have stopped most of the shooting. I had to go to Hyderabad for a shooting, which also got cancelled due to the Union’s strike. However, it’s good as it has given me enough time to spend at home. I’m a bit lazy by nature and love doing lesser work.

In the meantime, I attended some meetings and read some scripts but it didn’t interest me. There was one script that I liked, but the person had no producer and he’s now searching for one. I don’t understand how to balance my dates with the producers of the films that have been stopped. Most of my time goes into thinking that. I also feel like going to Delhi but there’s a lot of work here that needs to be finished. That’s all I’m busy with these days. It’s like taking out work from a suitcase and keeping it back inside an almirah.

I would like to offer my gratitude to the late Mohan Chandra Sharma, who bravely fought the unfortunate terrorist encounter in Delhi. May his soul rest in peace and may God give his family the strength in this time of trouble.

With this,

Love…
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

How To Stop Communal Riots

All my growing years I have seen communal riots and caste based violence as a part of my life. May be as a mute spectator, but I have always been around these. Is the extent and intensity of the incidents happening in Kandhamal and Karnataka justified? Is the Govt. has no role to play? Now, in the name of jehad shall we decide who dies? On the God’s name shall we decide which religion is right and which is immoral or which caste
is elite and which is low.

Actually this debate has been there since ages and violence is an inseparable part of it. The question is who they are? How do they think? How do they think themselves the God? And why do they think they are the Govt.?

I completed my education from a Christian Missionary school. Today, whatever I am is either because of that Christian Missionary school or because of my theatre’s director and teacher Barry John. Why do not caste-creed, religion and region ever comes to my mind? I give this credit to my school and Barry John. Even my parents should be credited for that. After coming to Delhi, the person I did theatre with and the person who introduced me to an actor within me was Shamsul Islam. He was also the one who introduced me to the philosophy of Marx, Lenin and Mahatma Gandhi.

How can I deny their role in my life? And when one gets to see/read this type of news everyday, it makes me feel dejected. I sometimes think what kind of people are they, who consider other’s faith as low. Who are these people who spread violence on the name of religion? How do they think and what’s their ideology? Our Nation is progressing and it’s sad to say that owing to the communal violence and religious aggressions, India is on its way to devastation.

For a complete human and societal development of India, the advent of industrial development is mandatory. It’ll also take away the doom of religion based violence. I hate communal violence and caste based discrimination more than anything else. There can be nothing else than regionalism that I totally despise. I won’t say that the time has arrived. I would rather say that if you don’t get up now, you won’t get up at all. These things and the related violence should stop immediately..!

We should ostracize these people completely as people with such a sick mentality have only one answer which is violence. These people lack logics. I live with my God, I have my God and I don’t want anyone to be responsible for him. I take his responsibility. To everyone, it’s my request; please confine your religion to yourself. That’s your faith. Stop publicizing your religion in any way. Keep it to yourself and feel it within. I don’t discuss my religion and faith with my friends or family; neither do I ever get into such a debate. My God is mine and he’s within me.
With peace…

Love
Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Nostalgic Manoj

Believe me, it wasn’t a vent out of anger against Ramgopal Verma. It was just a reply to the wrong information he’d written about me on his blog. And this will continue if someone tries to malign my character. If in a democratic country someone has a right to say something, then the other person should also have a right to answer back. Anyways, lets just go off the past.

Right now I’m at my producer-director friend Sanjay Gupta’s place. I’m with my wife Shabana Raza and director-friend Rajiv Virani, who is directing an upcoming film of mine. It’s raining outside and we have reached here just sometime back. We also discussed Rajiv Virani’s film script.

Two hundred kilometers away from Mumbai, 4000 ft above the sea-level, Mumbai seems so different. It suddenly reminisce me of my village. A part your village. The magic of peaceful green surroundings and serene mountain valley is such that it has a hypnotizing effect. It tends to raise a conflict inside you. A part of you asks you to give away everything you had earned throughout your life and by this I mean my acting career and a metro city life.

I also went to attend a function last Friday. It was organized on the occasion of the launch of a Ramayan animation film. I have given my voice for Ram’s character in the film. Juhi Chawla has done voice over for Sita and Ashutosh Rana for Ravana. I think that this Ramayan will initiate a new era of animation films. A revolution is apparent in the animation film sector. Technically, we are in competition with the western countries for this. However, there is a lack of professionals in this field, which will hopefully not be there in the coming future.

Remembrance of village and the Ramayan function made the childhood memories fresh in my mind. It reminded me of the time when my grandfather used to read texts from Ramayan and narrate stories. A place we are attached to is in all the ways different. It’s truly said that, you can detach a person from his village, but can’t separate a village from the person himself.

With this…

Love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Ram Gopal Varma and Me

In my last post I mentioned that I’ll be writing about Ramgopal Varma, who’s been writing unpleasant things about me on his blog. So here it goes.

I have been attached to him. After watching me in Bandit Queen and Tamanna, he offered me Satya and also a small role in Daud, after that. We have had a good professional relationship. However, I won’t be able to comment much on the creative aspects, since it was mostly Anurag Kashyap or Saurabh Shukla, I interacted with.

Mr. Ramgopal Varma, on his blog said that when in award ceremonies, people called me Bheekhu Mhatre (my character’s name in Satya), I used to get excited as they called me and not the other stars. Actually, this has been the only reason of tension between us. He has spent his entire life on false beliefs.

I was happy with the success of Satya and was glad that I at least got a chance to stand. I was happy that I had an abode. Hence, in spite of all the prevailing apprehensions between us, I was thankful to him. A passion to become an actor drove me to Mumbai. I had dreams to become successful and lead a good life with my family. I never wanted to compete and I think that I achieved more than I had ever dreamt of.

The problem with Mr. Ramgopal Varma has been that he always wanted Manoj Bajpayee as an actor who can flatter him all the time. He wanted someone who has no self respect. I just want to say that please Mr Verma stop maligning my character. Our creative and professional ventures are over now. And there’s no question of an emotional attachment, because it never existed on the first hand. So, Mr.Varma, if you feel too much for me, you better keep my photograph and look at it every morning. But stop faking.

However, I know that you wouldn’t leave me; else your own existence would be in danger. All I want to say is that no one expected Satya’s success. We did what we could to the best of our abilities. As an actor, I performed my best and as a director you did what you thought was the best.

No one owes anything to each other now, but I’m still grateful to you. However, you should learn to respect my feelings and emotions too. But who am I saying all this to? To a person who doesn’t believe in any form of relationship, may it be that of a husband and a wife or that of a brother and a sister, or any other form of emotional bond, for that matter.

Since last nine years I have been trying to make things work out between us. Professionally, there was never much of an economic gain from you. And you more denied me after casting than you ever gave me roles, but I’m still thankful for what I got from you. May God bless you and keep you happy.

I always wanted to share this with you people. There’s more to all this, which is likely to come up if Mr Varma refuse to mend his ways. I respect him, but that doesn’t mean I’m a menial worker who would do whatever he asks for.

It feels better now.

Love
Yours

Manoj Bajpayee

Bappa Morya...

I had come back home early yesterday, by 6 in the evening. Took my laptop and started reading some of the comments of my last post, I felt all my friends and fans were disturbed after watching flood visuals from Bihar. I was still on the laptop, there were sounds of drum and trumpet, I realized that Ganpati Utsav has begin and a day Ganpati is going out for Visarjan.

Really, this kind of atmosphere in this month gives a spiritual happiness. During this period in Mumbai, there is a kind of competition to visit Ganpati temples and Mandals. As, I was in these thoughts, my mother called me from Delhi and told that she wants to have three day Ganpati this time.She has been a religious person, who keeps on wishing so that she could be indulge in religious activities. She was asking me about rituals of Ganpati Puja. Ganpati Puja has been a part of Maharashtra's culture and she is totally ignorant about this.

I also don't know much about these rituals. I am a simple man, who believes in simple kind of worship. Well, all these festivals and Pujas bring people closer undoubtedly. I wonder, this is the start of festival season that keeps on going till the end of the year. Whether it is of any religion; be it Ganpati, Ramzan, Diwali, Chhat, Dashahra or Christmas.

It seems that all the religions follow the same path to say good bye to the year. All pray to god during these festivals. I also pray to Ganpati to solve the misery of flood affected Bihar's people. God gives them strength to over come all the difficulties and adverse times.

So, on the closing note, we all say Ganpati Bappa Morya...

Your's
Manoj Bajpayee

Brave The Floods

I met Mr. Prakash Jha lately. We talked about the happenings in Bihar and inferred that we, through TV and other means, can request people to join NGOs and help the victims. I’ve been talking to various TV channels which are present there and are working for this noble cause.

I think it's important that every individual should make efforts at all the possible levels in this direction. People can contribute for this cause in all the ways they can think of. Also, the catastrophe which has occurred in Bihar shouldn’t be taken as a state crisis but as a national calamity. A place where more than 25 lakh masses are suffering the disaster and many have already died, it’s not sensitive to look it as a regional crisis.

Unfortunately, I have been witnessing the disaster caused by Kosi, Bagpati or any other Northern river entering Bihar, since my childhood. And worse is that that nothing has happened about it. The dams are still in shambles and Bihar has faced the aftermath. When will this agony come to an end? That’s the whole question.

Nevertheless, the Army and the Air Force has reached Bihar now. Also, relief camps have been stalled there. But surprisingly the Govt. still hasn’t declared the crisis as a national calamity.

Tsunami was so painful that it made me cry. I also feel very distressed when I look at what people are suffering there in Bihar. Is human life of no value? I kindly request people to help Bihar in whichever way they feel like, though without exposing it. I’m doing the same and I request everyone to join together and work.

Sharing sensitivity with my readers and fans on my blog, giving my views through TV and newspaper and hence encouraging people to come up with more and more help for Bihar, is something that appeals to me. This is something that can actually help a lot. This is how we can inspire people at our levels, to help the victims. If each and every individual does that, a significant change will surely happen.

In Bihar, the effected area should be evacuated first and now that the Air Force has reached there already and is doing its job efficiently, people will be benefited. However, I would want to appeal to the higher authorities to do something more significant. Not only should the dams be repaired, but our relations with Nepal should also be strengthened. An alternative system should be developed to cope with such a calamity. A proper disaster management system is required at this point, so that the people of this nation feel safer. This way they'll know that they are out of harm's way.

There is a man who writes ill about me on his blog. The man holds an important position in my life and I would want to write about him next time. His name is Ram Gopal Verma. I’ll sign off now.

Love
Yours,

Manoj Vajpayee

A flooding pain…

I feel so miserable when I see the agonized and flooded Bihar on television. It makes me feel so moved and helpless. The whole crisis of Kosi river had been there since my childhood days and I have been witnessing it throughout. So far I’ve never been able to resolve the issue on my part, and that’s distressing. In Bihar, all sorts of Govt. came and went away, but none could stop the mishap and its sore consequences. I fail to understand where these helpless and vulnerable should go? And as a person and an actor, what should I do? I feel feeble.

Today, watching on channels that the Central Govt. has approved an aid of a thousand crores for the distressed made me feel a bit better. In addition to this, the Govt. should also try to solve the root cause of the issue so that people don’t face a similar situation every monsoon. Thousands of lives would be saved that way.

I just now had a chat with Shri Prakash Jha. We are to meet today. Sitting together, we’ll discuss the pains of people and will try to take up their problems to the Govt. May be this effort on my part will make their lives better.

I was dubbing for a film today. My mind however, was occupied in the miseries of the people lying there in Bihar. It’s sad to say that the kind of fast city life we are leading has made us passive towards the lives of others. There are lives aloof from the kind of lives we lead and it’s high time we should understand it. Ironically, malls are not the only gauge of development. There is a rural population also which needs to be looked after. Our country wouldn’t grow if they are unhappy.

The sorrow in Bihar made me feel like sharing my sorrows with all of you. All this makes me feel helpless, but I’ll try to do my best in this regard in all the possible means. Having said that, I’ll sign off now. Shekhar Suman, Prakash Jha and I are meeting, so that we can think about it and moreover DO something significant about it.

Yours,
Manoj Bajpayee

Market is my acting school

I spent entire Saturday with my family. Generally, I and my wife go shopping to the market, in some selected shops. My wife always insists on me going along with her; however I prefer staying at home. Interestingly, going out for shopping helps me in a way because that is how I get to meet people and learn their way of living. The practice of connecting with people in such a way helps me grow at professional and personal levels. It also serves as a good homework before any film. I enjoy doing it. And for an actor this is a recommended exercise.

Interestingly whenever I go shopping I never remember things that my wife buys. I’m so forgetful that, at times I don’t even recall the dialogues written by myself. And this absentmindedness sometimes leads to home wars..!! I can’t help it. So, coming back to the point, I spent the whole day with my family. The shop owner had a complete new stock in his shop, so he asked me to come. It was totally an amazing experience shopping and interacting with people, at the same time. I also gave autographs and made my day memorable.

I feel very glad for the comments I get on my blog. Starting this blog has been very serendipitous for me. Firstly, it has helped me in communicating directly with my fans and secondly, it has increased the viewership of my films. Like for an instance, Mr. G. Vishwanath from Bangalore watched Satya and actually liked it. I was elated. Then there was Mr. Rajiv Taneja, who watched 1971, though, the pirated version. So, to Rajiv and others, I plead not to watch the pirated stuff. Movies should be watched in a theatre so that the box office profits from it. This is how actors like me and others will be valued more for their work. And this would increase participation among producers to make the kind of cinema I work in. Otherwise, this money-ruled industry would only prefer actors who bring in loads of money to the box office and eventually in a matter of time intellectual cinema would lose its sheen completely. Eventually anyone would hardly care about what I like or what I do, for that matter.

Nevertheless, Money Hai To Honey Hai was criticized by some people. Actually this film is an out and out comedy. Some people liked it and some didn’t, but I gave my best in the whole movie. The outcome of this movie was interesting in a way because after watching this movie, people realized that I not only can do serious roles, but can do comedy as well. It was convincing to see that I can justify a comic role also. However, the main reason behind doing this film was Ganesh Acharya. With this promise that next time I’ll definitely try to be true to your expectations and make you laugh I’ll sign off now. I believe that it’s the attempt to strive harder that drives an individual to work passionately in his life. Or at least that’s the only thing I know.

Love

Yours,

Manoj Bajpayee

Getting old…

The other day, NDTV aired a report on low pension in India describing an aged retired officer S.N. Verma and his agony, inability and his sadness. Mr. Verma, a pastime painter is in such a state with his modest pension that he finds it impossible to meet the ends. Not only this, but it is far more sad to know that he cannot even continue his only passion, painting, owing to his humble pension. While watching this, all the time I kept pondering over my future and this gave me nothing but shivers.

S.N. Verma somehow reflected me. I felt as if I could be him some years later. However, throughout, I kept thinking of today’s youth, who are indulged in the ecstasies of their youth and take everything for granted, their exasperating behaviour and sheer ignorance. And I think, it’s high time they should realize that at one point in their life, they’ll be at the receiving end.

Sadly, in the so called modern day world, the elderly have become synonymous to a weed that grows in a field along with the crop. The weed is ripped off and thrown away. Our old ones are made to think they are different from us and are treated with an attitude of indifference. They are made to live a life of disrespect. The question here comes, what are we doing? What have we made of our old ones? Why can’t we stop being apathetic? Why can’t we love them? This is something that I kept thinking the whole day, after my fateful encounter with the ‘old age’.

While I was thinking about all this, a lot of things seeped into my mind. So I just felt like sharing it with you all. My grandfather died at 90. He died a natural death. I still remember him visiting the fields and sharing his farming techniques with people. He was such a pro-active individual that he was always willing to help people with their problems.

Similar is the case with my father. He went for a cataract surgery in Patna, years back. An unfortunate mistake occurred in the operation and he lost his eye. I somehow feel responsible for that and it makes me feel guilty. My father is one of a kind. I haven’t seen anyone like him, someone who celebrates life like a festival and lives it to the fullest.

Talking about old age, I can’t help mentioning my father-in-law, who is about to become an octogenarian. A rare quality shown by people his age, he enjoys his job the most. I have been very fortunate in having these people around me and also have a learned a lot from them. This is actually how I inspiring myself to live my life and experience my old age.

Going some years back, I can recall a play that I performed in Delhi. I was the only actor in it. I played a retired station master who is assaulted by his son and daughter-in-law.
Interestingly in all the shows, I saw an elderly man on the front seat. Every time the show ended the man used to cry his heart out. Unfortunately, his life was the same as being portrayed in the play. He somehow saw himself in the play. My film Swami was no different. It was about a father who sends his only child abroad and himself leads a life of a loner in an old age home. However sad this may appear, but true it is.

Conclusively, I’d like to say one thing here. I owe myself to the elders who have taught me the ways of life. Who have taught me to face the world and still live my life to the fullest. Their experience has given me an immense strength and the true essence of life. Kudos to them. I’m grateful to them and will always be.

I wanted to reply to all the comments on my last post; however the state of our elders in the society compelled me to think and write this. I’ll definitely get back to you in my next post.

With love
Yours
Manoj Bajpayee

Some Answers

First comment on my blog was of Rajesh Roshan followed by comments of Rajeev Taneja, Dinesh Rai, Kavita, Shailesh Bharatwasi, Girish, Suresh Chapinlukar, Rajiya Raj and Anoop Shukla etc. I would like to thank all those who posted comments on my blog and complimented my first post. Although some friends raised few questions too!

R.C. Mishra commented "Who is writing this blog in Hindi? How come Manoj Bajpayee writing such well versed Hindi?" It's not the fault of such people who are asking how film actors can write in good Hindi. It's a fact that many big stars speaks a little bit of Hindi but are unable to write in it. They cannot even give proper interview in this language. Thus such a doubt in visitors/readers mind is reasonable. Well, for your kind information let me tell you that superstar Amitabh Bachchan knows very good Hindi , also Ashutosh Rana speaks and writes good Hindi. If you still don't believe my words forget it, but do keep reading this blog as it's truly mine i.e. Manoj Bajpayee's blog.

Some people including Aanand, Sanjay and G.Vishwanath have also commented about PR-ship. I won't raise any objection for such questions nor will blame them for this too. You will find a film actor at every step and let me tell you there are more than 50 reasons for PR ship of any film actor. Television channels serve it all and has now become PR agency for big stars rather than just news. Well I know I'll have to justify myself for the same. This blog is started by my some journalist friends and they invited me to share my heart's feelings here. All technical support is provided by them. In future you will also see my blog in other languages which is nothing but mere translation. I don't have much time to translate blog in other languages.

Now something about my life story - If I need to describe my story even after working continuoulsy for 15 years in cinema and 11 years in theater, it really shows that you have never tried to know what this actor was doing. Please take some time and google "Manoj Bajpayee", you'll get all information about me.

Now this post is getting quite long . I once again thank all my blog readers. Please watch my latest movie "Honey hai toh money hai" and do comment here. Blog is meant for interaction, so this interaction will continue. I will soon get back to you with my new post. Till then keep reading my blog.

Yours

Manoj Bajpayee

Name, computer and me…

Even before a child is born, the christening process begins. From Chinku to Pinku to Amitabh and Aamir, even Manoj for that matter are the names considered. Personally Manoj doesn't fascinate me much, as there are around thousands of Manojs on this earth..!!!...And someone intelligent had said once that 'what's in the name'….so I believe that..!!

Recently a friend of mine suggested me to write a blog and interestingly I found myself thinking about its name more than its content. Another friend of mine who actually helped me in creating the blog, when told me that it has been named Manoj Bajpai, it kind of made me upset. The reason for this was that they didn't use my original and official name which is Manoj Bajpayee and not Manoj Bajpai. Bollywood journalist didn't also write my spelling right and when I tried to correct it, I was called a numerology fanatic..!!!

I think that to an extent name doesn't matter. Like for an example, if my name was "Idiot", people would have called me an idiot. They would have said things like," Oh..!! Idiot rocked in Satya" and "Look, Idiot managed a National Award for Pinjar". So essentially, it doesn't matter to me much if my name is Manoj, Idiot or even an Ullu for that matter..! But one thing is mentionable here, that I managed to negotiate with my spelling in the blog and got it changed. This gave me an intent satisfaction, if not anything else.

These days one thing keeps me occupied a lot. The thing happens to be a "computer". Computer was totally a new phenomenon for me a year back. But now I have exposed myself to this new world and I must say that I'm enjoying it a lot. It's exciting to explore this whole new world of science. But sometimes it scares me to, as I fear that it may get destroyed. It's really expensive after all.

It's always good to learn new things and that exactly what I'm doing. Recently, when I was shooting for Acid Factory, Fardeen and a fellow friend Jeetu taught me to download music. These days I listen to music, not on my tape recorder, but on my PC.

Time has changed, all of a sudden. It seems that it was only the other day that Babuji bought a Panasonic tape recorder from Nepal. I still remember my brothers recording their voices on it and listening to it again. It got them excited.

So much has changed since then. The world has shrunk and the relations have dispersed. The era of globalisation is the reason. Huhh..!!!...But who am I to comment? One has no right to think differently. And since I've been the numerology fanatic and have been called one or the other things every now and then, it's better to stay out of it. Let the things be the way they are…

Welcome to my blog. It's for all of you out there. I'll continue writing on this so that I can keep thinking. And yes, I would definitely not sigh off without publicizing my new film Money hai to honey hai. At least I deserve that much liberty. Isn't it?
Also there's an upcoming film called Jugad, on Delhi sealing which you would like, so do watch it…I'm sure you'll like it.

Yours
Lots of love

Manoj Bajpayee with Payee